Make God Laugh

(Dallas, TX, USA)

If You Want To Make God Laugh

I delivered my first and only child naturally. This was not by choice. I had my entire labor and delivery all mapped out. Arrive at the hospital for my scheduled induction, receive every drug known to man including an epidural, and deliver my beautiful son pain-free. I now know why they say “if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans”. I am sure he laughed very hard at me because absolutely nothing went my way.

At thirty-nine weeks pregnant on a Saturday morning only 2 days before my scheduled induction I started feeling really tight in my abdomen. However, in all my pregnancy books -which had become my bibles by this time - contractions were described a lot differently from what I appeared to be feeling, so I went on with my day.

Shopping, cleaning, cooking, and visiting with friends and family. By 4pm I was basically in tears, but still reluctant to go to the hospital convinced it was a false alarm or gas, or maybe even Braxton hicks, but not labor pains. By 5pm my husband and mother in law insisted that I was in labor and drove me to the hospital. Once I made it into the labor and delivery department the nurses acted as if they were sure I was in active labor, and once I was checked to my surprise I was dilated 7cm and in active labor.

Apparently all the walking and activity expedited the labor process. Once I got dressed, hooked up to all the monitors, and prepped with my i.v. I was checked again and to my surprise I was now dilated 8 cm. it seemed as if once I knew I was really in labor the pain got more intense, it was excruciating. I asked my nurse how long until I could see the anesthesiologist for my epidural, she told me she would go call and see. When she came back in the room I could just feel she had bad news for me. It was too late for the epidural; I had progressed too far and would have to continue without any drugs.

The rest is pretty much a blur to me. I remember tears and screams and my husband’s voice. And finally my beautiful 8lb 13oz son being placed on my stomach and wiped off. He was beautiful: dark curly hair, deep set eyes, and chubby cheeks. Perfect! All of the pain, chaos and confusion, and spontaneous nature of his birth that went totally against my planned birth was worth it.

Looking back I would not change a thing.