Afraid to get pregnant

by Siva

I don't know what to do!

Dear Friends,

I’m 23 years old and just married. My husband would like to have a baby pretty soon, but I am unsure. The problem is I have no good idea about how hard it will to get pregnant, have a healthy pregnancy and continue my career.

My mother passed away when I was young and I don’t have any close female relatives to ask about pregnancy and childbirth. I’m glad to have found a place to express my concerns and to ask questions!

Is there a best age to get pregnant? I’m only 23 and I would rather wait a few years to have kids. That way I can focus on my career and have some fun first. But, I’ve heard that it gets harder to get pregnant the longer I wait and that pregnancy itself is harder the older you get. At what age do you think it gets harder? Can I safely wait until I’m 27 years old?

If I am trying to get pregnant, what days during my cycle is it best to have intercourse? (In order to get pregnant) What days is there less chance of getting pregnant? I’ve heard that intercourse during menses is pretty safe if you don’t want to get pregnant, but I’ve also read that isn’t necessarily true. Since my husband will be angry if I’m on birth control, I’m trying to figure out the best days to have sex without getting pregnant for a few years.

How much of an impact will having a baby have on my career? I’ve read lots of people talking about how hard it is to balance a career and parenthood. I’m used to being very busy, I put myself thru school and I also worked, so I’m wondering if some of these people are a lot less active or if I will have trouble too? Also, how long can I work while pregnant without harming my baby?

During intercourse, what positions are best for efficient fertilization?

I heard that having intercourse in a cold environment is more effective. Is this true? Is there any scientific reason for this?

Can we have intercourse while I’m pregnant without hurting the baby? Is there anything I need to worry about? For some reason, it just seems wrong to me to have intercourse while I’m pregnant. I don’t like the idea of anything poking the baby and I’d be afraid to orgasm and cause a miscarriage. How many people really have intercourse while they are pregnant?

Should I eat special foods while I’m pregnant? Right now, I don’t have much time to be careful about my diet. I just grab food when and where I have the chance. Can I eat the right food for my baby without having to spend a lot of time cooking. I really hate cooking!

Why do some people vomit and have morning sickness while others don’t? My father tells me that my mother had horrible morning sickness and could barely get out of bed for most of her pregnancy with me. How likely is that I will have the same trouble? Is this genetic? Was there food she could have eaten or something she could have done?

Any suggestions and information you might be willing to provide are most welcome!!

Thanks!

Siva